22 going on 15?

Thanks to my Asian genetics, no one will be able to guess my age correctly.

When I was 14, people thought my 10 year old brother was my son and my 40ish father was my husband (ewwww!!!!). Now that I'm 22, people think my 19 year old brother is my older brother and my father is, well, my father. [Nice one, Papa Kim.]
When I was 17, I was never ID'ed at the LCBO, but at 22, I get ID'ed for PG-14 movies.
Ridiculous much?

Right now, I am enraged because I was denied a rental at Blockbuster by some power-hungry-teen-turd (obviously taking his first job way too seriously). The movie was rated R.
I didn't bring my license with me and the kid wouldn't cut me a break. Argh!! Who gets ID'ed at a video store?!

So, I'm gonna watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'll be able to relate to the characters because I'm sure everyone gets their ages wrong too. Protecting the streets of NYC from the Foot at the tender age of 14? I wouldn't believe them either.

The Beastmaster and Me:

His name is Dar.
He is a man made just for me: loyal, fights evil-doers, communicates with animals and wears a loin cloth!
Some may scoff at my choice in Sunday Morning programming, but I know this show is a winner (even though it only lasted 3 brilliant seasons).
So tune in tomorrow on the New VR for re-runs! Sundays at 10am. I know I will!!
*drool*

Good-bye Shoes:

After another sleepless night, I have decided to return the shoes that I bought so hastily. If I have this much anxiety over a pair of shoes, then I know I can't afford to keep them. Besides, they weren't that cute.
*sniff* Don't worry, I'll come visit you in the store.

Melrose. Rose of my heart.

Knees Knocking, Heart Pounding:

It's not love. It's a nervous breakdown.

It's official, my body hates me. Since, I am being forced to be a "morning person", I have woken up deligently at 06:00h. [An unholy time to be waking up, but a perfectly reasonable time to be winding down after a night of wholesome goodness.]

You would assume that since I am exhausted at the end of my day I would be able to sleep soundly. Yet, even today, without a nap and with my brain half-comatose, I still can't sleep! *sob*

Orillia: The Other Richmond Hill*

Read all about ourSunshine City. We are located within the borders of both a snowbelt and a tornado zone. Naturally, we get the best of both Canadian seasons.
Former homeowners: Stephen Leacock and Gordon Lightfoot.

*refer to Rolo's Blog

1 down... 14240 days to go:

I'm counting down until the day that I retire. Hopefully it will be less than 14240* days.
I have plans to shorten my "workforce" life commitment:
Plan A: Win the lotto
Blan B: Marry Paul Newman (odds of that are similar to winning the lotto).

I bought new shoes. :( I cannot believe I splurged. I'm getting a headache just thinking about how much money I spent. It just confirms the fact that I should NEVER be allowed to go into a shopping mall on my own. I think I have all this will power - but really, when it comes to shoes**, I am helpless.
[For those of you who know exactly how much I spent on these not-pretty-enough-to-cost-this-much-but-ohhhh-so-comfy-shoes: If you tell, I will be forced to silence you, forever!]

* 14240 is the projected estimate of the number of days I will have to work in my lifetime (if I work full-time for the next 40 years).
** Replace 'shoes' with whatever I am browsing at the time.

Sorry, I'm not funny today. I am so tired. And I am still coming to terms with the end of my life.
Working, for the REST of my life. *sob*

Snacky-time-Sara:

We both have scary nightmares. Maybe it's from eating McDonald's right before we go to bed?
Mmm... salty goodness. I take that back! Mc D fries can only bring happiness.
I'm lovin' it! Buh-duh-dup-ba-daaaah~

End of Days:

Today is the last day of my life as I know it.
I start the 9 to 5 tomorrow.
When am I going to study? When am I going to see my friends?
Most importantly, when am I going to sleep?!

On the other hand, this is the perfect excuse to buy new shoes!

Sick-O Friends Unite:

I am fast discovering that an alarming proportion of my friends are extremely disturbed.
But I love y'all and since I want to cater to your needs:
I will show you the door to a realm of creatures who are just as cute and psychotic as you.
Welcome to the world of the Happy Tree Friends.
[Shannon, you are possibly the sickest of them all!]

When Bad Smells Happen in Small Spaces:

There are some things that people should not do. Farting in small spaces is definitely one of them.
I was assaulted twice today.

First , in an elevator. Some middle-aged woman who was marinated in a musky perfume released a silent-killer. It was horrible. I was grateful that it was one those modern, speedy-makes-your-stomach-lurch elevators. I ran outta there hella-fast.

I thought I had escaped doom.
But when I was on the subway, some fiend let loose a gaseous-horror of gargantuan proportions. There was no escape. And I couldn't even give the culprit the evil-eye because the train was so packed you couldn't tell where the smell was hitting you from.

However, it was fun to watch the yuppies try to "ignore" the smell. Everyone knew it was there. No one wanted to acknowledge its presence.
Must keep composure.
I say, next time someone ought to just say what everyone is thinking: Ah Jeez, that stinks! Who farted? Come here so I can smack you around like a penguin!

Week 4

I need a replacement immune system. The one that I have is FIRED! I have been sick for almost a month now, which is just ridiculous. It started off as a common cold. But every time I feel like I'm getting better, I end up developing an entirely new (and worse) set of symptoms.
Maybe it's a cold, or maybe it's the flu, or maybe it's a sinus infection. Since I'm Asian, it is most likely the panda-flu and this is just the beginning of a new epidemic.
I wouldn't be surprised.

I'm delirious now and must get some rest.

Laughter another time.
Sympathy now.
Send me soup. Send me flowers. Send me money.
These things will help me get better.


WARNING: Not for the feint of heart

This is the "Smack the Pengu" game that will give you nightmares.

Mai currently holds the record at 1103.8
You are a very disturbed girl. Get some help.

You would have to be a sick, sadistic horror of a human being to enjoy this game.
Congratulations to Becki who has a high of 955. Haha.
Now, if this game was modified to be "Smack Clay"...

I love my Rolo.
The first, the last, and every piece between.

Top Ten Things that I Find Repulsive in Men*:
[Not in any particular order. They're ALL gross!]

1. Long Nails - There is no need for this.
2. Hips - This feature is too "womanly" for my taste. (Also, narrow shoulders. Argh)
3. Pubey Facial Hair - If you can't grow proper facial hair, don't try.
4. Lisps - Thorry, jutht too hard to take anything you thay theriothly.
5. Funky Odor - Some people smell so bad they make my eyes water. *barf*
6. Spidery Pit Hair - Haha. You might as well shave it off!
7. British Teeth - Busted teeth are not attractive. BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
8. Visible Nose/Ear hairs** - Keep 'em trimmed. No one wants to play in your enchanted forest.
9. Mullet - What possesses a person to get this "style" is beyond me.
10. Clay Aiken - Enough said***.

* Actually, most of this stuff is just criminal in general. So, trim those nose hairs, ladies!
** I noticed that I have a lot of hair-related stuff. Weird.
*** Read previous Blogs for detailed Clay-related hate propaganda.

PETA-endorsed site of the day:

I never would have believed that smacking a penguin around could be so addictive.
http://www.meph.eu.org/
High Score to beat: 593.5 - Robinson.
Personal high: 588.8 - You're feeling threatened Robinson. Admit it!
593.5!!! I have reached it at long last! Tonight, I can sleep.