It Don't Matter If You're Yellow or White:

When I was shopping at the mall today (with my mom, cause I'm a poor loser), I saw what appeared to be three middle-aged women (also shopping). However, it turns out that two of them were not middle-aged but mid-teenaged: a mother and two daughters. The daughters were monstrous.

They looked decrepit. They were wearing clothes that were way too tight, their blush was streaky and I could see their foundation lines. All signs pointed towards a mid-life crisis.

However, while I was in the dressing room, I overheard them talking to the sales clerk about school; the 11th grade to be exact. I could not believe my ears.
Those old hags were actually pimply teenagers.

Now I realize that age-fluidity* is not limited to Asians. So, I apologize to all you whiteys whom I have been discriminating against for years for not knowing how to differentiate Asian-chronology*. I have learned that even I can be fooled on occasion.

* Not actual terms (That's right, I went there).

First Day of Spring:

Snow fell in Orillia. I had to shovel. (Actually, that is a lie. I merely thought about shovelling, but it's the thought that counts).

For the Ladies: Sit or Squat?

It has been brought to my attention, that man is not the only gender that makes a mess of the toilet bowl.
So, let us come to a consensus. Sit. Or if you must squat, then do not spill. That is just wrong. And should you spill. Clean. Or Clay will haunt your dreams.
It's just not worth it.
Just imagine, Creepy Clay who will sing to you about his creepy loneliness and his creepy peeper tendencies.
Ewwwwwww. * shudder*