I am seeing RED!

Just saw Mr. American Idol II on t.v. - Was feeling bad for Reuben since he was stiffed by the Idol producers/promoters/etc. when my roommie mentioned that pansy-flat-ass-pale-skinned-prissy-faced-Clay-D-Lang. Ooooh! I HATE HIM! Mr. Aiken. Mr. Punch-me-in-the-face. Mr. Put-me-on-Broadway-so-I-can-prance-and-wear-gloss.

I was never a bully. But that creature brings out the animal rage in me. My feral predator instincts make me want to WEED that boy out of our gene pool - he is weak. He is a sissy. And I want to pound him into a mushy pulp with an aluminum baseball bat... make that a bat with spikes on the end of it... to hell with the bat! Let's make it a mace. Crush him!

I am eager to help him BECOME "invisible".
Now that would be a very good thing. [FREE MARTHA!]

Advice for a friend:
Practice saying these words, "Don't touch me without my permission" or the ever effective, "NO!" However, girls in general don't really understand rejection; you might have to reinforce verbal communication with physical demonstration (I'll lend you my mace for this purpose).

Penis update:
It fell off in the shower.
Dammit, I didn't even get to write my name in the snow!