The Only New Year's Resolution I May Keep...

In years past, all my Resolutions went up in smoke before my neighbours even started taking down their Christmas decorations.

This year, I thought it would be hilarious to take up smoking as a Resolution.

However, it was January and a lot of people were trying to do the exact opposite. I ran into a "Nicorettes" promo team on Queen Street. He tried to get me to take some gum from him. I told him that I wasn't a smoker - but that I was gonna take it up.
He said that I was CRAZY!!! and that I should take up drugs instead. [Perhaps an idea for 2006?!]

For a test run, I tried to bum cigarettes from my "smoking" friends- to no avail. Apparently, I would not have their support. [Thanks a lot Trudy & AJ]

So, I was forced to buy my first pack of cigarettes. No weakling Viscounts or Matinees for me. I went straight to Belmonts. Although, I did seriously consider B&H for their sleek black packaging - very edgy.

I knew the risks. With all these smoking-bans and the new Health Canada anti-smoking campaigns. Hate-propaganda brings tears to my eyes...

I was alienated even before I smoked my first cigarette.
A dear friend tossed my first 2 smokes into the snow bank before I could even light up. And as she went to grab my 3rd one, I had my first nic-fit. Oh, the memories.

I would get a little light-headed after my first few cigarettes. At first I thought it was because of all the toxins. And then, it was brought to my attention that I had forgotten to breath altogether. So, I began to alternate between "air" and"drags".

There was sporadic coughing and hacking involved. My fingers were cold. And my nose was burning. All-in-all, not very pleasant. This would be an easy Resolution to cast aside.

The bitter cold days of January is the best time to start smoking - Cause the weather sucks.

As a heat-loving person, I did not think I could keep it up for too long.
Until I discovered that bars have accommodated to smokers, such as myself, by putting heat lamps outside.
CHEERS TO THAT!!!

However, like most (okay, all) of my Resolutions, this one has also gone the way of the Dodo.
I didn't even have the satisfaction of smoking my last cigarette - because it was stolen by a housemate who is trying quit.
Typical.

******

Let me tell you a major positive about smoking. [Aside from the obvious: looking incredibly cool and being allowed to take frequent breaks at work place]

You can loaf.
You can do just about anything (outdoors) as long as you smoke a cigarette. People may have mixed emotions (pity, anger, jealously) but suspicion won't be among them!
They will think they have you figured out.
You can stand in front of the Hummingbird Centre with your Eastern-Euro-clad-in-black-with-shiny-shoes-and-gel-in-my-hair friend and stare into the back of your open trunk for 30 minutes... and no one will give you a second glance*

* True story... they could have had anything in there... drugs, WMDs, a beanie baby collection... and yet, everyone gave me and my friend the shifty-eye... cause we were waiting outside for a friend - sans-cigarettes.